An Update….on the life of Lauren.. :)
Ok, so it’s been far too long since I last posted, but hey, I’ve been back in Ireland, and I’ve been a little bit busy….
Here’s what’s been going on:
- I went to England, and found a pony…. His name is Morgan, he’s a 13.2 “traditional” cob stallion, with beautiful markings, and a cheeky little attitude. I adore him already, and although I am trying not to get TOO excited in case it doesn’t work out, I am BEYOND excitement about bringing him over, to his new home!!
Fingers crossed he will be here within a month!! - I quit my job in Clarks… NOT perhaps my best economic move, but most definately best for my sanity levels…They are reassessing the situation now, and hopefully I can be transferred to a different store, with a better management system. Again, this is all up in the air!
- Trudi, my horse, was diagnosed with mild arthritis… it’s not serious yet, it’s just in her neck and one hock, so hopefully with stretching and supplements for her joints, she’ll be ok…
- My beautiful friend Margarita died, 3 weeks and a day ago…31 March 1989 – 4 June 2009… Margo was an inspiration to everyone who ever met her, she was a true friend to everyone, and never uttered a bad word about anyone.. She fought her battle so bravely, so courageously, and with unbelievably few tears.. I am so proud of her, I miss her, but I am not sad… Margo, I called up to chat to you…was lovely to see your mum and Kate there, and Louise and Eleanor too called up!! Ride your ponies, be free… I’ll see you on the other side pet!
- I totalled my car… Again. I was overtaking, and somebody pulled out of a junction in front of me… We hit head on, and although not badly hurt, I have some pretty funky muscle damage to my neck and shoulders, and some delightful tummy pain where my seat-belt dug in.. Ah well, could have been worse, and cars can be replaced. Kelsey is clearing subliminally linked to me, and didn’t want me to suffer alone… So she fell off her horse the same day, and broke a few ribs…
Way to go KPC!! - I had a three and a half hour coffee date… Ashleigh came home… I reckon the only reason we left was because I had to pick my younger brother up from school!
- I have met a guy… and I sort of like him. It’s still insanely new, and I’ve seen almost a bit much of him this week, but that’ll settle down I’m sure… He’s 21, he lives about an hour away, he’s smart, funny, handsome, sweet, he makes me laugh and I enjoy spending time with him… As I said, I’ve probably seen him too much this week – 5 times in 4 days – but to be honest, that is NOT ENTIRELY my fault… It should have been 3 times… but he spontaneously drove down to see me on Wednesday night, despite our spontaneous lunch on Wednesday! :p We had a lovely date night last night… He even let me beat him at pool!! (Silly fella potted the black!
- I finally caved in and got a Crackberry style phone… The Samsung Tocco… I can email.. I can facebook… I most likely will lose it or kill it… I love it and hate it in equal measure!
- Oh yeah, and I got my exam grades back… I did really well! I finished up second year, and will be starting final/senior year on a 2.1, which for my American friends, is one step down from the top! I’m really chuffed, coz I’m very close to a First Class honours, so with just a touch more effort, I could definitely get that!!
So there you… 6 weeks in a nutshell!
Oh Mrs…
I miss you so much…I drove past your house last night – your front light was on, and my heart broke… I was walking the dog on Monday, and almost called in for a cuppa… it’s like there’s an invisible “reality check” at the top of your street though, I can see your house, I turn in to call by, and then I bounce back, when reality sets in, and I realise you’re no longer there…
I saw Nic today… she misses you… she’s doing well though, she looks really well, and David and Charlotte are looking after her nicely for you! Murphy hadn’t forgotten me – he was all over me with his “stories” and kisses – I’m pretty sure he took off all my makeup!! He’s been scrapping again though – he just got 10 staples taken out a few weeks ago! Nightmare pup!
It was really strange being just Nic and I… there’s a chair in that office that just has your name all over it, and really, I missed you so much today… It’s going to get easier, but I’m struggling to deal with it now that I am home.. I think that being away meant I could almost not process the fact that you were gone, and only now, as I go about day to day life, is it really hitting me…
I miss you lots… I want to show you my new ponies, and get your advice on stallions for Trudi – YES – we’re breeding her!! Looking at a wee Connemara, Nic thinks I’m mad! Anyway chick, I miss you.. it’s really tough, but I know that I’ll see you again on the other side… and the thought of seeing you looking all flipping gorgeous again, and that beautiful smile, keeps my chin up… I can’t wait to see you again… Keep singing Mrs… as always!
xxxxx
Game On!
Return to Ireland!
Well, it has most certainly been an interesting return to N.Ireland. I suppose I have been home for just over 2 weeks now, and although I am enjoying being home again, with my dog and my pony, I’m ready to go back to Canada… haha!
When I came home, I was supposed to pick up Teddy…. we then discovered that Teddy was only 3, and therefore, too young to compete, and he has no paper trail proving otherwise… At this stage, I was offered Topper, by the same people – a lovely, 14.2 Welsh Cob, 5 yo, Bay, 3 white socks, white blaze, absolute cutie. I drove him, and loved him, and he’s such a wee cuddler in the stables, a real wee man. I was supposed to pick Topper up this previous Tuesday, after his injections, and move him to the new yard. It was at this stage that his owners decided to hold on to him, and back out of the loan agreement we had. Fair do’s, he’s their pony after all…
This just leaves me in kind of a muddle… I now have two driving ponies, neither of which are competition fit, in either training or fitness, and two unbroken, potential driving ponies, ready and waiting for me… Basically, I have to suck up missing this season, and focus on bringing the youngsters on… It’ll be worth it next year… On the same note, I am looking into my “next horse”… I am intending on breeding Trudi, my bay Connemara X TB to a little Connemara stallion “Song of Freedom”, who is a 13.2 grey guy, who just oozes “look at me” presence… My hope is to produce a lovely moving driving pony, of about 14-14.2 hh, small enough to be driven in ponies, yet big enough for me to hack, and Christine to do ridden affiliated dressage with…
Since being home, I’ve also got my old job back in Clarks, which is fine, and in this economic climate I’m just really lucky to have a job! I don’t think I am going to be getting very many hours to be honest though, so I am also applying to do some bar work in a local hotel, just to boost funds a bit!!
I got my new (to me) car yesterday, so I will have to post pictures soon!!
xx
Words to live by…
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”
I need to remember this more often, as when I am learning a new skill, or a new technique, I often get so mad when I can’t pick it up perfectly the very first time…
On Thursday, I had a driving lesson, and spent some time trying to get to grips with driving “Coachman’s Style” – or with both my reins in one hand. It was difficult, yeh, and I have the fine motor skills of a baby chimpanzee, but I’m getting there… I “got it,” however briefly my success lasted.
It’s almost time to go back to Ireland – 5 days now!
On the Road Again…
I’ve packed my bags, and said goodbye to the ponies… this is it, I’m moving again…
For the second time in just under a year, I find all my belongings in a suitcase, my life packed into a rolling vessel… I’ve said goodbye to my house mates, I’ve said goodbye to some of the best friends a girl could ever wish for… Some people I have said goodbye to, probably for good, some I know without a doubt I will see again. I don’t know when I will next get to visit Ontario, but this place has become another home to me, somewhere I feel completely at ease, and I love being.
I have great friends, great housemates, and great horses.
Tomorrow I get on a bus, and head to Boston, another place I call home… Although my love for Boston will never die, it is no longer the only place I want to be, nor does it hold the only people I want to see… I will be spending a week in MA, before jumping on a plane, bound for Ireland, and more importantly, bound for everything I hold dear – my ponies, my pup and my family.
I don’t want to leave Kingston, but man, I’m ready to go home. I’m ready to stay home for a while, set down some roots, and just relax and get reacquainted with the country I grew up in… It feels like I have been away for an age…
I guess I have – I’m certainly not the same young woman who left Ireland in 2007… or even the same one who left in 2008… I’ve changed, I’ve matured, and the experiences I have had, I wouldn’t change one of them for the world….
Goodbye Kingston, Goodbye Queen’s, and Goodbye Canada… You’ve been wonderful, and I’m so glad to call myself a Queen’s Girl… so glad to consider this town a second home, and so grateful for the welcome you’ve given me.
xxx
Two Weeks Already?
Gosh, I suck at blogging! I have a googleReader, so I still get to keep up with all my friends blogs, but wow, I’ve not written a post in TWO WEEKS! I’m sorry. I am bad a keeping in touch.
Basically, not much has gone on this past fortnight… classes have just finished on Wednesday past, I had a term paper to hand in that week too, and I got my midterm back with an 85% – which was a higher grade than ANY of the 5 super geeks I like to call my friends. I was so pleased….
I’m currently working on my final assignment in Canada, an 8-10page paper on the success of feminism, and its effects on masculinity during the period 1870-1970… It’s ok, I have a comprehensive plan… I just don’t have a thesis yet! I think I’m almost there on the thesis development though, with the main theme of my argument being that women posed a threat throughout this period, and that as such, for every gain made, men belittled and lessened it as much as they could, right up until 1970’s.
That’s really all that’s been going on… school, work, sleep…
This week finished up kind of badly to be honest, I seem to have gotten sick, I’ve got a bit of a head cold, which isn’t helping my cognitive functioning, that’s for sure! I also had some aggro in work this week, when one of the assistant managers gave me 6 demerit points for something which was A.) accidental, and B.) not as big a deal as he’s making it out to be. Basically, if he’d done HIS job properly the first time round, the same mistake would not have happened twice… but no, he was in the office with his girlfriend… and it’s ME that’s being accused of neglecting my duties. Grr. I hate student run government and its associated places of work! haha!
It’s all good now though, I’m chilling out in the library with Kelsey, I’m supposed to be working on my thesis, but then I realised how long it’s been since I blogged…so here I am… I’m gonna miss Kelsey so much… she showed up today with snacks and sweets for me, and a box of tissues in the library. She’s the best. I love her. Her family have invited me up to their house in Toronto for Easter Dinner next Sunday, and I love her mum and her wee sister so much – we’ve been up to their ski house in Collingwood a few times this winter, and Christine is just a wee dote. Kelsey and I are hatching plans to marry Justin and Christine off the day and hour that they turn 18!! haha!!
I can’t believe I leave Kingston so soon – this year has flown past, and to be honest, the last 2 years have gone by so fast! I only have 9 days left in Kingston, although I plan to get at least 5 more driving outings in before I leave, I need to make sure Diana will keep driving after I leave!! We drove Minnie on Thursday night for the first time since December, and she was perfect. We’re driving again tomorrow, and will hopefully ground drive Mickey, who has been lame for a year with a fracture.
Once I leave Kingston, I’ll be shipping down to Boston for a few days, and will be kicking about there for a week and a day, until I fly home on April 23rd… Scary stuff!! Looking forward to getting home to my horses etc, and seeing my friends and family, but I’m sure it’s going to be a pretty big relocation and adjustment – I’m going from single, independant gal, with few committments, to living with my parents, juggling rules, a new job hopefully, and plenty of new horses and ponies! There’s so many things I’m going to miss about Canada… the horses, my friends, my profs, my university… but I think what I will miss most is how it smells on a sunny day… that smell just doesn’t happen in Ireland… I can’t describe it, but I just love it.
I'm working on my hands, but they're getting better!
How can this be?
It’s been 12 weeks tomorrow since Helen died… 83 days… that is terrifying. I still miss her… every day… even though it’s hard to really believe that she is gone… It’s Nic’s birthday next week too, that’s going to be hard, just from a memories point of veiw…like the time I created a fire hazard in the barn, because there were so many candles on the cake for one of their birthdays… I wish every day I had told her how much she meant to me, and how grateful I was for everything she did, and taught me growing up… An old friend hit the nail on the head at her funeral – he said “those two were like really cool aunts to you when you were a kid,” and to be honest, that is exactly what it was… I looked up to them, respected them, and told them everything… I miss that… I miss drinking tea with them all the time! I only lost Helen, but Nic and I have definately drifted apart – I’ve been away so much over the last two years that I have barely seen her, so I guess it feels like I lost her somewhere along the line too. I’m really excited to get home, and go for a cuppa with Nic, and tell her all about my adventures in Canada-Land… and all about my new pony! He may only be mine for a while, but I am still really excited about him, and that means Nic will be too.
In other (uneventful) news – I have 25 days left in Kingston! Terrifying.
I have started packing, and am seriously concerned about how I am going to get everything back to Ireland. SERIOUSLY concerned. How did I get all this stuff over here to begin with?
St Paddy’s day was a write off for me – I got a little bit tipsy after writing my last exam (until JANUARY) and then went to a house party with the guys from Dublin… Dan came and got me, and had me home, asleep by 10.30. I woke up on Wednesday, and I did not feel very clever… I think I will perhaps give the alcohol a by-ball for a wee while.
Really missing my ponies and puppy at the minute, I am even DREAMING about being back in the yard again. I’m really looking forward to getting home, and setting down some roots after my few years of galavanting. I thought there was going to be a new guy on the scene, but he appears to have disappeared… I’m not too concerned, I’m probably just being a typical girl and over analysing everything. It’s not my style – I normally wouldn’t even notice, but I think perhaps I was just kinda excited about getting home, and seeing if anything would happen there.
Oh well – Que Sera – life goes on.. and right now, it’s going on for brunch… and I’m hungry… Bagel and cuppa tea time!
xxx
Flip, I’m almost done!!
Apologies for the lack of posting recently, I don’t have an excuse, I’ve just not got a lot going on to report on!!
Life in Kingston is pretty standard, not a lot extraordinary going on at the minute. School is pretty good, I have turned in one of my essays, and written 2 out of my 3 midterms. I have another midterm on Tuesday, and after that, I won’t sit another exam until January 2010, so that’s pretty cool. I’m attempting to study today, but spring is FINALLY here, and I really just want to be outside, down by the lake! It’s not very warm yet, but it is about 10 degrees Celsius out there, so it’s a marked change on 6 weeks ago, or even 2 weeks ago to be honest!!
I was walking to the library this morning, and I could help but feel completely happy in Kingston – sure, I’d be over joyed if I could have my ponies and dog here, and I miss my family and friends, but do you know what? I’m just fine, just as I am… I’ve learnt a lot about myself this year… I’ve learnt that I can do it by myself… I’ve learnt that I really enjoy my own company, and I’ve learnt that I am far more ambitious, and capable, than I had ever imagined. I guess we were pushed pretty hard in VCB, we were expected to achieve our full potential – but I really think that this year has allowed me to see what that potential really is… It’s an opportunity that I don’t regret for a second – it’s been really tough at times, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m awestruck by what I’ve learnt, and how much I’ve changed this past year. It’s gone by so fast as well – before I went home at Christmas, I thought the year was going to go on forever, but here I am, about to start my third from last week of school, and I’m only five and a half weeks from being back in Ireland…
I don’t really know how I feel about going back to Ireland… part of me is really excited – I’ve got the new pony, I’ve got Trudi, I’ve got my pup, and my family and friends… not to mention the excitement of getting a good job for the summer, and building my stables at home… I’m going to be seeing my friends, hanging out at the barn, going to horse shows… I’m really excited to get my teeth stuck into life in Ireland… really, it’s about time I did… I need to stay there for a few years, try to establish a life there again,after 2 years of back and forth travels.
On the other hand though, I’m nervous about going home… more precisely, of living with my parents and brothers again… I’m nervous of losing the freedom I have here, the freedom to come and go as I please, of being able to be alone when I please, the freedom of silence, the freedom to have friends round, and just relax, anytime I please. I’m worried about fitting back into a family unit, one which I never really fitted into in the first place… My gut feeling is telling me to get my own place, that I’m past living with my parents – after all, I haven’t lived with my family for more than 28 days since I left home in 2007, and I’m not sure how that is going to play out when I do move in. However, a by-product of me realising my full potential this year was to decide to go to grad school, and get my law degree… this is costly, and I want to do it by myself… which means, I have to save money, and put it away for my tuition fees, my living expenses, and that sort of thing… It makes very little economical sense then, to try to live by myself, especially when my parents live a mere 30 minute commute from my college… I guess that the situation will be what I make of it… I just hope they realise I’m not a kid anymore… and I am not the same person they waved off last year… I’m going back to Ireland as a changed person… I’m going back to Ireland as a confident, mature, and driven young woman… as someone who knows exactly what it is she wants, and will do anything to make that happen.
Has it really been over a week already?
My goodness! Time flies, eh?
Well – the rest of my trip to MA was reasonably uneventful.. I hung out with my family, I saw an AMAZING hockey game (Providence Bruins v. Worcester Sharks) which ended up with a goal in the last 10 seconds, to secure the Bruin’s win, and then on the Sunday, I hung out with my “city cousins” out in Somerville… We had dinner, I had the best veggie burger in the world EVER, and got ice cream, hung out, chatted etc, and then Mel’s husband, Jamie, drove me to the bus station for my bus back to Kingston…
Well – my bus got cancelled, so I had to wait til morning, I stayed with Mel and Jamie, and then got the next bus, at 10am, to Montreal. This journey was somewhat of a disaster to be honest… the driver got lost… twice… and the bus skidded sideways down the highway somewhere in VT. We weren’t allowed to stop for a rest break, as we were about 2 hours late, so Ionly had the sandwich I had bought in the station, and a nutrigrain bar… A little old lady was asking the bus driver to stop for food – she was diabetic, so she needed to eat, and the driver would not accommodate her… she was starting to get really panicked, so I offered her my apple… As it happened, she had dentures, so couldn’t eat my apple, and therefore, I gave her my sandwich.. It nearly killed me to hand over my lovely little ham and cheese, no tomato sandwich… but… Karma and all that! haha!
I finally made it home about midnight, a mere 15 hours after I left Mel’s house! Craziness!
This week has been muddling for lots of reasons, but it’s actually ok… I’m on top of it… I’ve got a wicked tooth ache, and need my wisdom teeth out, but other than that…I’m set.
Kelsey comes home on Monday, and I CANNOT contain my excitment. She has been gone FAR TOO LONG.
Let’s just say, neither of us are looking forward to being separated again in April… This is gonna be HARD.
Peace out.
xxx
The Day After The Best Day Ever…
Well – I guess the day after a really good day is always going to be a let down, and today is no different…
Yesterday was fun… I got to do 2 of my most favourite things in the world, with some of my most favourite people….
I got up at the butt crack of dawn (AKA 6.40am), got dressed, ready to leave, and jumped on the train to Boston….I hopped on the T, and made it to South Station in time to leap onto my next train, to Franklin, MA, where my friend, Andy stables his horse.
In a kind of funny, and usual twist for this particular friend, he was late… however, he was NOT late… he was simply at the wrong train station! haha!
When he got there, we headed to the barn, I brought Zach in, groomed, harnessed and hitched. He’s just got a new carriage, it’s actually pretty cool – it’s got telescopic shafts, so they move with the horse when it’s turning, which makes it easier for tighter turns. Turns out that his horse, Zach, doesn’t throw as many bones as any other horse I’ve driven – and we pulled out on to the wrong side of the road (I’m BRITISH!) and then Zach presently, halted. And would. not. move. I swear, all the tea in China would not have made that horse move without JUST the right amount of contact… Now, this horse is perfect for Andy, whose job it is to teach people to drive, but yesterday, I could have killed him. But, if I think about my lesson, really I learnt a lot… mainly that I’ve never had to THINK about my contact when I’m driving, as everything I’ve driven to date has either putzed along without a huge contact, or pulled like a steam engine, and pulling my arms out of my sockets… I also learnt that I drive better when I look at the sky…. or just, not the horse! I need to work a lot on feeling the horses mouth, and getting that right balance of contact, to engage the horse… Oh yeh, and I drive from my Biceps, and appear to lose all movement in my wrists the second I pick up the reins….and I drive with my hands WAY too low, and WAY WAY too far apart. Thank you Trudi. I blame all those years of riding with my hands as low as they could go, set it place either side of your withers, trying to offset the head swinging, bit snatching, taking off, or rearing goodness that is my first love.
After my lesson, I drove with Maggie, his numero uno, star pupil. She’s a hoot, and I always forget how flipping young she is! It was so good to see her, I haven’t seen her in maybe 18 months, and she’s talking about coming to university in Scotland, which would be seriously cool. I think she’d love it there. Her pony is generally a legendary superstar, but yesterday, she was being kind of a pig. Which was kinda nice – I’ve never seen her put a foot wrong, so it was nice to be reassured that she is, after all, a normal pony! Maggie did a bit of “hazard” stuff – tight turns around trees, and that sort of stuff, and I backstepped, to stop the carriage tipping over, and so that Andy could watch from the ground. On the way back to the barn, Andy drove, and when we were leaving the airfield, hit a big old pothole, sending me into the grips that the backstep uses to hold onto, and swing off… well he may have a fancy pants new carriage, but those grips are a pain in the ass… I attempted to impale myself when we hit the pothole – I have a lovely purple bruise to show for it!
After Maggies lesson, we putzed about a bit, we went back to Andy’s house, had some lunch, and then headed to the store where Andy had a couple of things to do… Famous last words… We made it out of the store about 3 hours later, and headed to the mountain to get some skiing in… The roads were awful, and it took FOREVER to get there, but we did, and we skiied.
I was doing ok, I think I want to take some lessons though, I seem to be “stuck” skiing right where I am, and not really improving. Conditions were pretty good, it was a wee bit cut up in places, but whatever… It wasn’t too icey, or too drifty, so it was good. Andy’s sister came along too, so it wasn’t just me in slowtown! I’m getting better though… I’m definitely not as slow as I was last year… We skiied a good few runs, Andy and I skied the black diamond run (read: scary) but I survived to tell the tale… the last run I took with Liz, to let Andy get some fast runs in, I WIPED OUT…. in an oh so spectacular way… I kinda sprawled on the snow, Liz came down, and sat down. I caught my breath, nursed my sore wrist, and got up and skiied to the lodge… I iced it, it hurt, and I took some painkillers… Its not so bad today, I think it’s just sprained or bruised etc… Just like my ego!
Today, I slept til 9.15, and its now noon, and I’m still in my pjs… my wee cousin will be home soon, so I need to put some lunch on for her, and I might walk up to the park with her, just to relieve my sense of Cabin Fever… It’s funny, I had a great, and busy day yesterday, and now I just want out of the house again today… I want to be with my friends, doing things I love… ah well, it won’t be long till I’m driving again, the skiing is going to be a tad more difficult in N.Ireland though, that’s for sure!
xxx
