Flip, I’m almost done!!

Apologies for the lack of posting recently, I don’t have an excuse, I’ve just not got a lot going on to report on!!

Life in Kingston is pretty standard, not a lot extraordinary going on at the minute. School is pretty good, I have turned in one of my essays, and written 2 out of my 3 midterms. I have another midterm on Tuesday, and after that, I won’t sit another exam until January 2010, so that’s pretty cool. I’m attempting to study today, but spring is FINALLY here, and I really just want to be outside, down by the lake! It’s not very warm yet, but it is about 10 degrees Celsius out there, so it’s a marked change on 6 weeks ago, or even 2 weeks ago to be honest!!

I was walking to the library this morning, and I could help but feel completely happy in Kingston – sure, I’d be over joyed if I could have my ponies and dog here, and I miss my family and friends, but do you know what? I’m just fine, just as I am… I’ve learnt a lot about myself this year… I’ve learnt that I can do it by myself… I’ve learnt that I really enjoy my own company, and I’ve learnt that I am far more ambitious, and capable, than I had ever imagined. I guess we were pushed pretty hard in VCB, we were expected to achieve our full potential – but I really think that this year has allowed me to see what that potential really is… It’s an opportunity that I don’t regret for a second – it’s been really tough at times, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m awestruck by what I’ve learnt, and how much I’ve changed this past year. It’s gone by so fast as well – before I went home at Christmas, I thought the year was going to go on forever, but here I am, about to start my third from last week of school, and I’m only five and a half weeks from being back in Ireland…

I don’t really know how I feel about going back to Ireland… part of me is really excited – I’ve got the new pony, I’ve got Trudi, I’ve got my pup, and my family and friends… not to mention the excitement of getting a good job for the summer, and building my stables at home… I’m going to be seeing my friends, hanging out at the barn, going to horse shows… I’m really excited to get my teeth stuck into life in Ireland… really, it’s about time I did… I need to stay there for a few years, try to establish a life there again,after 2 years of back and forth travels.

On the other hand though, I’m nervous about going home… more precisely, of living with my parents and brothers again… I’m nervous of losing the freedom I have here, the freedom to come and go as I please, of being able to be alone when I please, the freedom of silence, the freedom to have friends round, and just relax, anytime I please. I’m worried about fitting back into a family unit, one which I never really fitted into in the first place… My gut feeling is telling me to get my own place, that I’m past living with my parents – after all, I haven’t lived with my family for more than 28 days since I left home in 2007, and I’m not sure how that is going to play out when I do move in. However, a by-product of me realising my full potential this year was to decide to go to grad school, and get my law degree… this is costly, and I want to do it by myself… which means, I have to save money, and put it away for my tuition fees, my living expenses, and that sort of thing… It makes very little economical sense then, to try to live by myself, especially when my parents live a mere 30 minute commute from my college… I guess that the situation will be what I make of it… I just hope they realise I’m not a kid anymore… and I am not the same person they waved off last year… I’m going back to Ireland as a changed person… I’m going back to Ireland as a confident, mature, and driven young woman… as someone who knows exactly what it is she wants, and will do anything to make that happen.

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