How can this be?

It’s been 12 weeks tomorrow since Helen died… 83 days… that is terrifying. I still miss her… every day… even though it’s hard to really believe that she is gone… It’s Nic’s birthday next week too, that’s going to be hard, just from a memories point of veiw…like the time I created a fire hazard in the barn, because there were so many candles on the cake for one of their birthdays…  I wish every day I had told her how much she meant to me, and how grateful I was for everything she did, and taught me growing up… An old friend hit the nail on the head at her funeral – he said “those two were like really cool aunts to you when you were a kid,” and to be honest, that is exactly what it was… I looked up to them, respected them, and told them everything… I miss that… I miss drinking tea with them all the time!  I only lost Helen, but Nic and I have definately drifted apart – I’ve been away so much over the last two years that I have barely seen her, so I guess it feels like I lost her somewhere along the line too. I’m really excited to get home, and go for a cuppa with Nic, and tell her all about my adventures in Canada-Land… and all about my new pony! He may only be mine for a while, but I am still really excited about him, and that means Nic will be too.

In other (uneventful) news – I have 25 days left in Kingston! Terrifying.

I have started packing, and am seriously concerned about how I am going to get everything back to Ireland. SERIOUSLY concerned. How did I get all this stuff over here to begin with?

St Paddy’s day was a write off for me – I got a little bit tipsy after writing my last exam (until JANUARY) and then went to a house party with the guys from Dublin… Dan came and got me, and had me home, asleep by 10.30. I woke up on Wednesday, and I did not feel very clever… I think I will perhaps give the alcohol a by-ball for a wee while.

Really missing my ponies and puppy at the minute, I am even DREAMING about being back in the yard again. I’m really looking forward to getting home, and setting down some roots after my few years of galavanting. I thought there was going to be a new guy on the scene, but he appears to have disappeared… I’m not too concerned, I’m probably just being a typical girl and over analysing everything. It’s not my style – I normally wouldn’t even notice, but I think perhaps I was just kinda excited about getting home, and seeing if anything would happen there.

Oh well – Que Sera – life goes on.. and right now, it’s going on for brunch… and I’m hungry… Bagel and cuppa tea time!

xxx

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